His Wisdom for Her World

How {TO} Be a Bridezilla

By on July 17, 2014 in Marriage with 1 Comment
Matrimonio obligado,boda obligada,novia.

My journey in ministry has taken me through a variety of positions and responsibilities. During one of God’s more creative (or comical) times in my life I served a very large church as their food service director, special events coordinator, and wedding coordinator. Our church was a popular venue for weddings and the large membership made for a very full wedding calendar. A typical weekend had at least two weddings and sometimes three.

I have seen it all in weddings and, even before the show Bridezillas became popular, I witnessed many a sweet Christian bride or her mother transform into an unrecognizable creature – A Bridezilla!

Wedding season is in full swing and I have had many conversations with recently engaged and nearly married gals asking for advice, celebrating, and even doing a little venting.

So, to my sisters in Christ who are in the throes of wedding planning, here’s four steps to guarantee Bridezilla fame and becoming THAT bride everyone talks about.

STEP 1: Make it all about you – You know and you have read that a wedding is all about the bride. Take full advantage of that. Evaluate every decision, every bridesmaid, every flower choice as to how it will make YOU look. You want everyone focused on you and you alone.

STEP 2: Die on every hill – You may have been planning this wedding since you were a little girl. You know exactly how many bridesmaids you want, the music selections, the colors, the dance, and even the time of year you want your wedding. To be a Bridezilla, you must die on every hill to create your ideal wedding. If your venue does not allow the arched helium balloon with the twenty candelabras surrounding it, throw a hissy fit. Was that song you REALLY want sung deemed inappropriate, put on those pouty “Puss-in-Boots eyes” and whine until you get your way.

STEP 3: Don’t include your fiancée – The next logical step to Bridezilla-dom  is never consult your fiancée on anything, don’t get his advice, and don’t include him in any of the planning. And if he should offer that rare  suggestion, humor him a little and simply laugh it off. After all, what do men know about weddings anyway, right?

STEP 4: Keep the wedding a priority over the marriage – If you have been vigilante about the first three steps, you are well on your way to completing this fourth and final step. Spend well above your budget on your wedding, talk your fiancée into the amazing destination honeymoon he wasn’t too sure about, and put all your energy into that one day. Pre-marital counseling?….consider it just another thing on the To-Do list. Then, when you wake up the morning after, and look at that man to whom you just said, “I Do,” it is guaranteed the Bridezilla will quickly become the Wifezilla.

The list above may sound a little crazy, but I have seen it happen over and over again. Brides and their mothers get swept up in the moment and forget what a wedding is all about. They get focused on the dresses, bows, flowers, food, and look, taking on the stance of asking for forgiveness rather than permission, and then even not knowing why they have to ask for forgiveness.

I have seen mothers of the bride threaten to pull their church membership if they didn’t get their way, or remind me how much they give to the church looking for an entitled exception. And on one occasion, I set a divorced mother and father down and talked to them as if they were grade-schoolers because they refused to sit within 10 feet of each other during the ceremony and the bride didn’t know what to do.

My engaged sisters in Christ, don’t lose sight of the magnitude and significance of marriage and the ceremony that will set the tone for years to come, and will either bolster or taint your own testimony.

A wedding is about you, your fiancée, and the Lord. A cord of three shall not be broken. It  is a time to make a covenant between the three of you that is unbreakable. Be careful that you not leave out one of those strands.

A wedding is about standing before friends and family as a testimony of the work God has done in your lives individually, and now as He brings you together as one.

It is about the Gospel. Marriage is a tangible, earthly picture of the Gospel, and the first look of that picture in your lives will be revealed at the wedding ceremony.

Allow God to take center stage as the artist at your wedding, taking your place, kneeling before His throne.

It is about honoring the Lord in all that you do and say. At the end of the day, would you rather people be talking more about the delicious cake, or the meaningful worship service as you both said, “I DO”,  to each other and to the Lord?

There is no room for Bridezillas in the family of God.

 

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do,

do everything for God’s glory.

1 Corinthians 10:31

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About the Author

About the Author: Terri Stovall serves as the Dean of Women’s Programs at Southwestern Seminary. She co-authored the book Women Leading Women. Terri and her husband Jay enjoy riding motorcycles and roller coasters. .

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  1. Jane R. says:

    That is good advice. My husband told me up front what he wanted. I made sure that happened. Other things….things he could care less about….I had full decision making power. We agreed that we wanted our wedding to glorify God. I told everyone up front that if things got out of control then we would elope. Some thought I was kidding, others knew I was serious. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was simple, classy, and Christ-centered.

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