Dear Dottie: My Husband Won't Let Me Go to Church

Dear Dottie,

I came to Christ a little over a year ago. Since then, I found a strong church family, was baptized, and started attending the worship service along with a women’s Bible study. My husband, who is not a believer, has been uninterested in hearing much about my spiritual life but still understanding of my attending church – until recently. Lately, he has become more and more irritated by my involvement with our women’s ministry and wants me to spend all of the weekends and evenings at home with him.  I know 1 Peter 3:1-7 says not to nag your husband about my faith, but must I stop going to church if it’s causing a strain on our marriage? Thank you for your help!




Dear Conflicted:

How wonderful that you have embraced the Lord Jesus as your Savior, for that means He is preparing the way before you, walking alongside you on this difficult path, and standing as your rear guard to use your testimony to accomplish kingdom purposes! You can also rejoice to know that indeed the Lord has in His Word the principles needed for the most difficult decisions and to offer comfort in the suffering accompany the Christian life (1 Pet 4:13-16). You as a believer have the same privilege given to the Lord Jesus Himself, i.e., to suffer in order to bring healing to another. Unjust suffering endured with patience and purpose is precious to God the Father because you thus drink the cup of His suffering.

Even a gentle and quiet spirit, which is the most effective tool a wife has to draw her husband to Christ, will not prohibit suffering and difficulty (Matt 5:44-45).

Yet there is a spiritual strength that comes from within so that the God-control accompanying a gentle and quiet spirit goes beyond self-control for your response to challenges (1 Pet 3:6). A believing wife dare not run from the adversity in her life; rather, as my husband says, they must become her university.

Is there a short general answer?

A believing wife is the best tool for bringing her husband to saving faith according to 1 Peter 3. God can change the thinking of a believing wife so that the frustration and hurt she feels in her relationship to her husband is covered with the Father’s tender love. Peter suggests that a godly wife “be submissive to [her] own husband . . . even if [he does] not obey the word” (1 Pet 3:1). The focus becomes a believing wife’s commitment to the Lord, and the question is actually whether or not she is willing to trust God’s providence as being sufficient in the midst of this trial.

Is there an example of a godly wife married to an unbelieving husband in the Bible:

Abigail’s husband Nabal was not only ungodly but also a fool. When the lives of her husband and household were endangered, she realized that her first responsibility was to God.  She made a bold personal appeal to David, the future king, in order to save lives (1 Sam 25:23-35). She returned home and told her husband what she had done in a respectful way (1 Sam 25:39-42). Abigail’s boldness was tempered with her servant’s heart as well as restraint and discretion, which gave her great influence over David as she made the best out of a difficult situation (1 Sam 25:35).

When the wife of an unbelieving husband submits to his authority even in her personal activities, she can rest in knowing that this submission is not merely to her husband but to God Himself (1 Pet 3:1-2). Scripture does not call for wives to obey their husbands blindly regardless of what they are asked to do. Submission to a husband is never the same as or equal to submission to Christ. Nevertheless, a wife’s submission to her husband is a command from the Lord.

What exactly does submission entail?

  • It is resting, leaning, trusting, even abandoning yourself to another.
  • It is an attitude of your will that bends willingly, looking for ways to submit.
  • It is not based on what kind of husband you have but on what kind of God you serve.
  • It is not a fringe benefit for some elect husbands but a responsibility for all godly wives.

How does submission work?

  • A husband cannot require or demand this submission; a wife chooses to stand under the authority of her own husband because it is a divine mandate.
  • Biblical submission demands putting all of yourself—energies, wisdom, feelings—at the disposal of your husband. It is not submitting only to reasonable requests. To choose when to submit is not submission. A wife is not forbidden to have personal opinions; she is not coerced into changing her personal convictions. Yet only when her submission blatantly violates God’s moral law does a wife find a biblical reason for refusal (Acts 5:29).
  • To submit in God’s way is to make an intelligent choice to line up under God-assigned authority, learning submission to the Lord in His classroom.
  • Gaining God-control in your life means losing self-control! Every wife does have “rights” by virtue of her worth as being created in the image of God. Yes she can choose to give up “rights” for Christ’s sake.

Is there a modern example?

Let’s suppose that when your husband becomes irritated and demands that you stay with him through the weekend and in the evenings, you say gently and humbly, “OK, I will defer to your wishes. You know how much I love going to the Lord’s house. Hearing His Word and being with believers actually makes me a better wife to you. But I know that Christ is in my heart, and I can gain my spiritual nurture at other times. Christ has set forth the pattern that above all I am to devote myself to meeting your needs as my most important responsibility.” He may respond in a gruff way. However, he will be shocked, and he may feel a burden of guilt himself.

He will know that he has hurt you deeply, but he will also know that you love him more than the church and the people you have brought into your circle of friends there.

Immediately the wall will begin to come down because he can no longer blame the church or the pastor or any of your church friends for denying him the fellowship of his wife! A lost man is looking for somewhere to put the blame. Until you remove as much of that as possible, you cannot deliver your most effective witness. Then you focus on meeting his needs, especially on the weekends and in the evenings. After a few weeks, you gently extend an invitation to him to go with you to church—perhaps a special program of some kind or you ask if he would mind your turning on some program that you might watch together in which the gospel is preached or you try playing some Christian music softly in the home or you ask your husband if he would mind your listening to a sermon on radio or CD. If he reacts with hostility, you pull back and wait.

Meantime throughout this very challenging situation in which you are spiritually deprived of what means so much to you, redouble your prayer and devotional time; read your Bible with passion; pray for your husband with all the compassion of your heart. Seek a Bible Study that meets while your husband is at work; nurture your relationships with Christian friends when it does not conflict with time you can spend with your husband.

Show no resentment or bitterness but pour yourself into meeting your husband’s needs and even showering him with added lovingkindness as if his life depended on it BECAUSE it may.

You may be the tool the Lord has chosen to use in drawing your husband to Christ! When a soul hangs in the balance, extraordinary sacrifices, even suffering and pain, may be part of the ultimate solution.

A word from my heart specifically to you . . .

Peter does not say that you are to become a flaming evangelist, preaching and witnessing, arguing and begging your husband to join you in your new faith. Rather, he simply says: Be a good wife. Avoid appearing self-righteous; do not focus on what pleases and edifies you most (i.e., the fellowship with God’s people); work toward developing a perfect love for your unbelieving husband—a love that covers a multitude of sins and hurt, a consuming love that on the human level will draw him to Christ. God’s promise is that even the hardest heart can be won by the conduct or lifestyle of a godly wife. When your husband refuses to read the Bible or listen to the preacher or intermingle with God’s people, you alone can bear the effective testimony. God is always fair and just—it is part of His character, Who He is! You must make your decision based on your trust in God’s providence rather than on the circumstances in which you are living and your own expectations of what good life you expect and desire. The rewards for obedience in this challenging task of submission make this journey worth the effort. God will honor your faithfulness.

I remain yours in the journey,


32 thoughts on “Dear Dottie: My Husband Won't Let Me Go to Church”

  1. Sonya says:

    Yes trust in God and live by the words and examples he gives to you. My husband was an unbeliever too and had some issues with my going to church and serving the Los at one time. He made uncalled for remarks . He never forbid me to go but he was not happy. And I did what Dottie said. I used a tender answer and assured my husband that I loved my husband and thru time our relationship has become stronger and our love deeper. And even though my husband has not made a public profession to the church and is not currently going to church . I believe that he is drawing close to the Lord. He is willing to admit that he believes in the Lord to me. Stay steady on your path to lift up the Lord and your husband and you too will see the difference . Sonya

  2. steph says:

    Why are women allotted this suffering !
    I agree with everything you’ve written but in the day to day living with a husband who denouncesa faith you both once held and scorns you for going to church it’s suffering. Going to a church he once called his home church and having to endure questions on where he is and why. Is just tormenting ! And then come home to be attacked agsin…All while smiling.
    I’m not strong enough.

  3. Amy says:

    Hi Steph,
    I can relate well to your frustrations. During my husband’s first deployment he fell in with a rowdy crowd and came back changed. Gone was the man who once spiritually led our household. What came back was a selfish party-hungry guy who drank too much and refused to attend church. Every Sunday I would be asked where he was and why he wasn’t attending anymore. It was embarrassing, frustrating, and so hurtful. At first I made excuses, but then I told the simple truth, “He decided not to come. Please be in prayer for him.” All I while I kept wondering where was the Godly man I fell in love with?
    I had no choice but to assume the role of spiritual head of the house, but I flooded God and my husband with prayer. For a year nothing changed. When he deployed again I begged God for one godly man that my husband could relate to and be friends with. God gave him two and by God working through them my husband refocused his life.
    I encourage you to wrap your husband in prayer, as it is our mightiest weapon, while understanding that God will work in His time, which may mean we have to wait a while. Pray for a godly co-worker, gym buddy, or sports fan to come into your husband’s life that he can identify with and be ministered to by.
    The questioning looks from church friends at times will be intolerable but you are surrounded by prayer warriors and those who will support you spiritually as you wait for your prodigal husband’s spiritual return. Love him like Jesus and don’t let his behavior steal your joy in Christ.
    Ps. While it appears that only women suffer these trials, I assure you that many husbands go down this same road with their wives.

  4. Kristin says:

    My husband was not a believer and I was, I was advised by a pastor to do as you are saying follow the Bible, but I had four children at our home that needed the church and youth activities. I tried to make sure I spent quality time with my husband but continued in church not going to ladies groups etc. but going and keeping my kids active. My boys are raised now and are wonderful Christian husbands and fathers in spite of very hard childhood. My husband has since come to know The Lord and has been baptized. All I did was pray not nag! I just wanted others with children to see this side.

  5. Carol says:

    Please pray with me for my fiance. He refuses church or biblical talks in any way. I’m tired of begging him to go to church. I’ve been trying for three years now with no success. I’m tired of praying for him to accept Jesus and tired of having endless fights which makes me cry some nights for up to three hours. I feel hopeless in trying over and over again

  6. Kaeg says:

    Carol, I understand your deep pain and desire for your fiancee. Your love and devotion to his soul is wonderful. I would like to share with you my thoughts. The Bible does share that we are not to be unequally yoked with one another. Marriage is a sacred covenant unto God and is designed for two people who love the Lord, so as to honor Him and also for any future children. I would encourage you to seek the Lord and be willing to give up your fiancee to God and to marry a man who will be a good and godly leader for you and your children. Put God first and yoke yourself up with a believer. It will hurt, but stay committed to God. I will pray for you and ask God to comfort you and give you peace.

  7. Sara says:

    I encourage all of you to listen to this message it is awesome and will encourage you all from Candace Bure

  8. Liz says:

    I am in this situation too. But instead of not allowing me and our two children to go to church, he forbids a Christ-like lifestyle. How do we as wives and mothers allow Jesus into all aspects of our lives when it is a staunch contradiction to our husband. I feel like we are at a cross roads and I must choose which to follow since we cannot have two masters. Again if it was just church it would be easy but when it effects, finances, parenting, assessing priorities, intimacy, community, what then?

  9. Jean says:

    I think some of you are twisting the Scripture. No wife should turn her back on God in order to submit to the husband’s leadership. A wife doesnot ignore church because her husband doesnot want her to go. You keep going to church and do not say anything to your husband. Do not try to persuade him.

    Also people, please go back and read Peter and tell me where the word “nag” is and where it tells the wife not to attend church if her husband tells her not to. Be sare full that we lose our common sense when it comes to a husband. Husbands are not equal to the Lord Jesus Christ. We submit to our husbands’ leadership, husbands are mortal human beings, not deity. Husbands are not above us except as leader of the family and the other who submits to that marital leadership. That us all a husband is. Husbands will stand before God, in judgement for their sins, just like their wives.

    1. Latisha says:

      Jean, thanks for your insight and clarification. You nailed it with biblical reference and regards to common sense.

      Your comment was a huge revelation for me. I will be attending a church service this Sunday.

  10. SASA says:

    i am in that situation too my husband do not like the church which I go to. He says is the nigerial church. I love to be in that church and is not nigerian church the Prohphet is South African.The church which he wants me to go to is not spiritual as the church which I go to.I do not want to go to the church with problems and come back with problems.and after my return I must go to witch doctirs to solve my problems. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE A LIE.

  11. Elle says:

    This is why I hope my girls never get married. It seems completely unfair to me that women just have to do whatever their husbands say and we are responsible for winning them over with kindness when they act like infants who can’t get their way. I wish I never got married. It’s torture. Having a husband who says he’s a Christian and then doesn’t lead or want me to go to church and doesn’t raise the kids up spiritually–leaving it to me…I wish I would’ve just passed on marriage.

    1. Pertunia says:

      You know what you are going thru is what I’m going thru n we not married as yet only traditionally we are! When we started dating I said to him he can change it all but he won’t change me from going to church at all, since that time things have gone bad. He feels that I go to church coz I believe in my pastor not God. He is keloid of church coz the pastor is a man. Our church uses oils and water and he feels that we praise the pastor coz his face is on the oils not God! He feels that the prophet is a business man nothing else. I really don’t know what to say or do anymore 🙁

  12. Jen says:

    I feel worthless. Like I’m at the lowest point on any scale you could produce. I feel like I’m just a piece of crap in all areas of my life.

    The only time I don’t feel that way is when I feel as if I’m in God’s will – with Him. I don’t feel like I am at work. I don’t feel like I am at home. I only feel like I am when I’m doing things for God to further His kingdom or with other people who believe.

    And now some of that is being taken away from me. Why? What is even more unbelievable about it? He is my husband and has authority over me and I am commanded to be submissive to someone who does not even believe. I’m sinning against the God I love by not obeying this command. I know I have to obey God.

    Why is the person who supposedly loves me most trying to take my peace away from me? I really don’t believe he truly knows how much he is hurting me by taking this part of my life away from me. It hurts me and makes me so angry. I feel very bitter and resentful at what he is doing to me. I feel like all I want to do is turn around and tell or do something to him that will make him feel the same exact way he is making me feel. I know that is not how I should feel. I am supposed to love and respect him in spite of this. He is making it so hard. I just want to lash out at him and walk away from him.

    God, please help me to love him like You love him. Like You loved me in spite of my sin and hurting You. I cannot do this in my own strength. Only You can get me through this. Lord, bring me closer to You so that I will trust that You have a divine purpose in this. I really thought You wanted to use me. But now I feel as though I’m to just sit and do nothing. I’m doing this for You Lord. It is really hard to understand how being submissive and doing nothing can accomplish anything. Please don’t let him take all the things that bring me joy away from me. Make me a godly wife.

    How can I be expected to spend all of my free time with him? All of my free time is only a small portion of his free time. It is really hard to develop a perfect love for him when I feel like he just wants to take everything away from me. Please give me what I need to do it. You have shown perfect love to me when I was that way to You. You were silent before Your accusers and wholly submitted to God. Please give me that same spirit. I can’t do it without You. My feelings are so overwhelming right now.

    Help me to understand and see that me obeying You by obeying him really is a part of Your plan to bring him to You. That I really am doing something by doing nothing. I will trust in You and You alone. I will wait on You. Thy will be done Lord.

    1. DMatz says:

      In the same boat here and I can completely relate with the feelings you have towards your husband I am so utterly sick of feeling like I’m being controlled all the time and frankly it’s an hour a week for me and I give my husband all kinds of freedom to pursue his hobbies and interests he fishes and is off doing that for entire days and overnights during the season it makes me wild that he wants to guilt me into not doing the one hour a week of church and fellowship that I desperately need especially now that we are trying to rebuild our marriage after my discovering he had an affair. I mean at what point is it okay for me to assert some control over my own choices how much am I really supposed to absorb as I wait for his eyes to be opened to Jesus. I am waiting on the answers and praying all the time but it’s to the point where I am so lost and feeling so tortured.

  13. Jen says:

    I want to clarify that I did not stop attending church. I help lead worship. I have only pulled back on all of the extra stuff I do. We need the encouragement of others and to grow in our faith.
    Hebrews 10:25New Living Translation (NLT)

    25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

    New Living Translation (NLT)
    Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

    Hebrews 10:25 in all English translations

  14. Kim says:

    I am at a loss. I feel an overwhelming desire to grow in my relationship with God but my husband is against everything I do. He doesn’t like our church, he doesn’t know why I “work” (volunteer) for them and not get paid but instead I give them money. He doesn’t like me going to bible study on Wednesday nights. How and what do I pray for him and our marriage?

  15. mya.. says:

    My husband and I argue alot too.i am a christian he is not… he doesnt allow me to go all the days we have service…it is frustrating…there times i get angry..but I pray that God helps me with this situation…over the years he has constantly cheated on me…says its all my fault cuz i have changed…even has told me i never asked him permission to accept Jesus as my savior….I cant do a thing in church…any activities or anything else.. I always have to be on a rush looking at the time…like if im in some kind of curfew…l Respect my husband I submit to him…. But in this part of my life…He wants to control too….And If I try to defend myself..He says the devil is in me… I will keep praying

  16. Kay says:

    I feel the same as everyone else. I am so tired of arguing with him about me going to church. I am about to give up on church, Christianity and marriage.. I just can’t fight anymore. I don’t feel like praying or doing anything else to win him. It is clear now that I’ve made a grave mistake marrying this man.

    1. DMatz says:

      Kay don’t give up that’s what the devil wants you to do. I know it’s hard believe me I know it’s hard but life with Christ is always better than life without Him.

      I just want to share that I have found that some times are harder than others and there are days when my husband really gets annoyed about me going to church but those days have gotten less and less over time and after lots of prayer. I am prayer for you tonight that you will not let the voice of Satan make you quit the only hope that is really true.

      1. Kay says:

        DMatz, thank you so much for your encouragement. I have been feeling like quitting for a few days now. I have even told God I would no longer be going to church. What you wrote was just what I needed today. I appreciate your prayers and will pray for you in return also. I know that Christ is the way and if I leave I will not be able to fit in with “the world”. I just feel so alone and angry…I feel like God has abandoned me in this situation. I feel like I have lost my purpose and blessings because of who I chose to marry. So many questions come to mind like “why didnt God tell me to marry someone else?” and “why after all I have been through in life you (God) found it fit to allow me to marry this man and go through so much more?”

  17. KayS. says:

    I am engaged to a man that I love, and at the point when we first started dating, I was living a very worldly life. We have been together almost 6 years now. We are not married but have a house together. I want to go to church again, I have not been in a long time, every time I have asked him to go with me, I get the “I did my time” (what his father says because he grew up in church as a child and doesn’t feel the need to go anymore). It breaks my heart for him not to go with me. My mom brought us to church with out my dad growing up, and I know how much it bothered her. He always had every excuse noto to want to go, unless they had some type of meal before or afterwards. Anyways, I love him, but I love God and I want to go back to church, it’s hard for me to be strong and just go by myself. Because I get the same question, Where is______? and I reply with, he couldn’t make it, or he had other plans. Im just so frustrated, I’ve known him since middle school, and I just want him to go with me. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to go through the same thing my mom goes through, minus the verbal abuse. Its irritating when I ask him to go somewhere with me (even to a family dinner) and he says he doesn’t want to go and that’s the end of it, I ask why and he gets upset. But any time he asks me to go anywhere I jump up and go get ready. I don’t know what to do. I know just pray, but I’m getting so frustrated.

  18. n says:

    My husband is a professing christian, but due to some really hard circumstances doesn’t not attend anymore. It’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t want me to go, but stay at home and do “church” with him. I believe the Bible tells us to go and worship together. I am thankful that he wants to listen to a sermon, but that still is forsaking the gathering together.
    I don’t know if I should be submissive to him or if this is a case of do I follow God or him?

    1. Susan says:

      My husband and I attended a church for 4 years. It was my Father in law’s church. The church had biblical sermons, but wasn’t very spiritual. Patriotism and secular thinking trumped spirituality. My husband ended up more worldly than when we first started attending.
      I found out the Pastor/His wife/Treasurer were embezzling designated funds, most of the deacons were multiple divorcees, the Pastors wife habitually lied slandering others’ reputations, and some deacons still struggled with porn and flirted a lot when they were married.
      No biblical rules for leaders, just the congregation. I watched these leaders make fun of others’ appearances and disabilities. A married women, unhappy with her own husband, was also hugging my husband closely, and no other man, asking my husband personal things.
      I was sad my husband was blind to this stuff. He thought I was the troublemaker.
      From my point of view, this church felt like Sodom and Gomorrah, and I was Lot being persecuted for my chaste thinking…
      One deacon pulled me into his arms after I told him I preferred handshakes during a meet and greet, then laughingly called himself a pervert.. I told him that’s not good.. I was saddened/disappointed by his statement. Gods preferences regarding fornication are no laughing matter..
      When I told my husband what happened, he laughed and told me not to read so much into it. I was discounted and alienated. I started to question if I was bad and they were good..
      I recalled the bible saying false teachers would teach bad as good, and good as bad. This is what I saw.
      Anyway, this wasn’t a church, but the sign said church. It was full of everything the bible said not to.
      We no longer attend, and are hesitant to seek another church building… They caused many marital conflicts for us. I thought we would grow closer as a couple by attending…
      It took months after stopping attendance to show my husband how cruel he was becoming due to the evil influences.
      He was not reading the bible or being fed with it. He had no idea how treacherous he was treating me..
      After bible study and prayer, I now believe assembling together with my husband and children alone at home fulfills the assembly requirement in Hebrews.
      Jesus said wherever two or three gather together in my name, He is there.
      Even Paul had church in jail with cell mates, singing psalms, and encouraging one another. That’s better than hanging out with false teachers and fornicators.
      The wrath of God is coming because of the disobedient teachers in the churches.
      They even told us we have to be in church to be raptured. But I can’t find that bible verse anywhere….
      The bible says the believers of Jesus are the church. We are all in one spiritual body. The people, not the structure. Not attending isnt a sin. But ignoring God and his word is sin.
      Attending church doesn’t make you saved. Believe in Jesus and you are saved. Do not let anyone add to this requirement.
      I have daily bible verses sent to my husband and myself. We all need encouragement to run this race.
      My husband and I still have our issues (married 20 years, even enduring years of physical abuse for a portion ); but we are still together, by the grace of God.
      The Bible says that a wife should never depart from her husband. I almost drove away a few times during the beating years, but God said, That’s what the devil wants… Every Christian in my life at that time encouraged me to leave, didn’t counsel my husband to stop hurting me, or blamed me for my husbands actions, then shunned me. My own family said they wanted nothing to do with me when I decided to stay.. They thought I had no self respect, and lost respect for me… This was not biblical advice..even from fellow believers..
      God stepped in when I hit rock bottom..
      I was starting to think the world wished me dead…
      I asked God at that time to make me humble. Only then was I able to esteem my husband as better than myself, and do good to him who persecuted me and despitefully used me.
      I stopped thinking I mattered so much, and that’s what truly set me free.
      All anger comes from wanting change, and not getting it.
      I believe Jesus meant for us to behave like Him.
      It’s hard, but I hear the reward is worth the effort. God Bless

  19. Me? says:

    After years of classifying ourselves as Christians and not religious, my husband recently started going back to church on a regular basis and now considers himself a born-again Christian. I on the other hand, have not become “born again” but do know that I am saved through Christ and as a result do not need to go to church as he STRONGLY suggests – I am apparently not good enough as I don’t go and according to him will not be saved (spoiler – I’ve already been saved through Christ). Anyway, it’s becoming a problem. He also goes to a church that I do not consider my “religion.”

  20. Beth says:

    My husband is an atheist and an outspoken one at that. I was raised in the church and got away from it but never stopped believing, though I have back slid. I want to get back to God but I know that if I ask my husband if I can attend church it will result in terrible rancor in our marriage. I love my husband and want our marriage to work. We have 3 children, I do not ever want to get a divorce. I firmly believe in my vows. So the answer for me, whether it is wrong or right, is to worship privately by myself in my own home. I know the Bible says we should attend church, but the Bible also says to honor and treat our husbands with respect and submission. I hope God understands. I am not denying him, I do tell my husband when he rants that I believe in God and my relationship with God is between him and me. I know not everyone believes that and that’s okay. In the end it’s your very own relationship with God that is important, if you go to church twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday and have no relationship with God, how does that work? Just wanted to share my opinion, it’s okay if people don’t agree. Thanks for letting me share!

  21. Maria says:

    My husband had an adulterous affair with a woman on his job. This ruined my marriage. I was asked by a friend to contact dr.mac@yahoo. com for help and i did and after 3 days my husband stopped his adulterous behavior and started treating me like a queen, he loves more now

  22. Dolapo says:

    I married a Muslim. somehow I love and respect him very much. I have always been a church person. But somehow I guess I missed it somewhere and married a Muslim. But now more than ever before, i desire and long for a spiritual relationship with Christ, for my life, my children and my marriage. One can’t get anything done except through Christ in the days we are in now. Our marriage is 5 years. He is very decent, loving, understanding and selfless and a very devout Muslim. The problem of my marriage is his devoutness as he claims he wants all of us ( I hv 2 kids) to do his religion with him which is very difficult for me because of my xtian background. Sometimes I wish I can just convert for his sake but its not possible for me at all. I am always unhappy and cry a lot cos he doesn’t allow me go to church. Recently after much argument and tears he says okay I can go ( although i know he is not happy about it) but his girls must never go as he wants to raise them as Muslims. This breaks my heart even more as I can’t imagine leaving my children and going off to church. when they start to cry how will I explain to them that Christianity is a sin in our home. So all I do is sit a home with them. I feel so helpless and I feel like I’m just wasting away. I can’t even pray well or call on God by myself a home again. I just feel empty, burnt and drained.

  23. Always say a prayer says:

    My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have a child and one on the way, we’ve both been raise in church but for different reasons, he enjoyed playing the music, and meeting people and his dad was a preacher, I went because from a young age my mom instilled in my brothers and sister to serve the lord , and even when my dad didn’t goto church my mom still went, I was born with one ear but I play guitar, piano, and drums, I sing and use to goto ladies retreat and youth revivals ministering all over (to god be the glory for using me), and when I met my husband I deep down knew he wasn’t gods will but I thought I could “change” him , he loved the lord but didn’t have a in love relationship, before we got married I had let him know I love the lord and about my ministry and my one request is don’t ever keep me from church, and he said he wouldn’t. I thought everything was fine. Got married , and as times went on my ministry stopped because we was in n it of church, at last it was a struggle to even go, I would always get upset because of the woman of god I once was and the ministry that god gave me through 1 ear! But i never stopped reading my bible and praying for breakthrough, I would goto church when we could but I felt like a yo yo ..last year I was a t my end and I fasted for 40 days Daniel fast for breakthrough I was the strongest I ever was with the lord, I eventually got my breakthrough and my husband had a full experience with the lord one night and redevoted his life to Jesus!! I was so happy he stopped smoking , drinking, listening to worthy music ,etc,,, but in the middle of winter he started slipping back to his old ways and eventually was back to square one ,, in n out of churches, I’m frustrated because I’m with baby number 2 and I miss being apart of a church and when I ask him to go he either goes one week and out for 3 weeks or tells me I can’t go at all and talks ignorant, Idk what to do , I wanna to please my husband but when the lord comes back I don’t want him to thnk I was disobedient to him.. what should I do ?? Still praying but tired of the fight,, I’m like the song deeper ” I’m worn out but not defeated” ..I thnk !!

  24. Deborah says:

    My husband will not allow me to attend church on Saturdays. I’ve been recently convicted that Saturday is the true 4th commandment Sabbath that Jesus kept and it was never abolished in scripture nor are there any Bible verses saying the 4th commandment was changed from Saturday to Sunday. My husband still attends Sunday church as usual and won’t listen to my requests to go on Saturday to a Bible fellowship instead. This has gone on for 3 months now. I’m realizing that I can go regardless of what he says as I’m obeying the 4th commandment from God which Jesus kept absolutely perfectly on Saturdays. I’ve been resting already from my work on Friday nights and Saturdays for months now and I would love to fellowship with others who do the same. I should not be obeying my husband above the word of God and going to Sunday church as that is rooted in pagan history- not Biblical history! I want to truly follow Jesus and simply study the Bible with others on Saturday just like He did. On Sundays I will continue to work hard as this is the first day of work as it is in scripture. I’m not alone in this but I noticed that no woman has mentioned even going to church on Saturday. Please know that going to Sunday church does not keep the 4th commandment at all. All who love Jesus will keep his commandments. There remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. It is Saturday that receives the blessing from God. I have been richly blessed since keeping it and hope to find a fellowship soon. Blessings to all.

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