Two Questions to Ask When a Girl Says Something Unwise

We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation with a girl and she says something that is unwise/off/unbiblical. You know you need to say something, but you don’t want to just give advice, seem judgmental, or ignore it.

Here are two great questions to get them thinking and allow you to transition to share some truth:

“Why do you view God that way?”

This is one of my favorite questions. Even as I’m typing this I can think of how thick the kindness and grace of God was and is every time the Lord has prodded me to ask this.

One day I was talking to a college girl. She was talking about her upcoming summer internship. I naturally asked what her dreams or goals were for after graduation. She said, “I can’t pray about or think too much about my future. God would probably make me move overseas.”

I calmly smiled and asked, “Why do you view God that way?” (long pause…long pauses are ok.) She shared that she didn’t want to move overseas. I shared that maybe God doesn’t want her to move overseas either. Maybe he has huge plans for her in the midwest, or northeast, or reaching her hometown. God knows her better than she knows herself: her giftings, personality, and desires, and she can trust God with her future. Then, of course I had to remind her not to discount the nations…Italy is prettier than Texas.

Another time I was running late one morning. I was laughing that I picked up the wrong cardigan or something like that. One girl said, “Oh, did you forget to have your quiet time?” I asked, “Why do you view God that way?” (long pause) She shared that when we don’t spend time with God, He basically makes up for it the rest of the day. I shared that God is God. He is God. The wind and the waves obey Him. He invites us to spend time with Him, but He isn’t like the revengeful “mean girl” who tries to make our lives bad when we don’t have time in a devotional book. This makes God very small, when He is actually limitless. (The conversation was wonderful and very long and I want you to read the rest of the article, so I’ll spare details!)

Most of our fears come from not viewing God in a correct way. If you listen, many girls say something similar to the examples given above.

“Where did you find that in the Bible?”

I love this question. There have been several times I have even asked this in Bible study or discipleship. I playfully open my Bible like I am waiting for the chapter and verse. Some examples:

Girl: God can’t forgive me for ____ especially when there are other girls who haven’t done _____.

Me: Where do you find that in the Bible? (long pause) Because I see that God loves us so much He came to get us. He not only can, but He will forgive you when you seek Him and repent.

Girl: I don’t pray out loud, because I’m not good at it.

Me: Where do you find that in the Bible? (long pause) Because I see Jesus telling us exactly how to pray in Matthew 6 and that He actually prefers childlike faith over fancy words.

Advice is great, but sometimes advice needs to be preceded with the simple reminder that the Bible trumps all of our ideas.


What are some heart questions you ask when a girl says something unwise/off/unbiblical?

– Amy

2 thoughts on “Two Questions to Ask When a Girl Says Something Unwise”

  1. Holly Nyquist says:

    Thank you.

  2. Susanna Lorenz says:

    Dear sister,
    “She (you) opens her (your) mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her (your) tongue…Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
    Give her (Amy) of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.” Proverbs 31: 26; 30-31

    And so I applaud you and thank you for speaking such heart felt truths. I will use them on myself and with my peers. Love you dearly.